To My Precious Baby Squash
Dear Payton,
We waited a long time for you. A couple of years honestly. I would watch your mother cry and wonder why she wasn't pregnant. I tried to reassure her that God knew what he was doing and that in the right moment he would bless her with one of his children for her to care for the rest of her life. When your mother was going through her struggles and trying to find her way in this journey, I never stopped believing that God would give your Mom and Dad the perfect baby and he did; he gave them you.
Neither your Mother or Father was fed with a silver spoon and both have beaten the odds. Statistics would have condemned them both coming from single mothers establishing that they would probably never become successful or educated. Your mother has just recently obtained her Masters in Education! What a huge accomplishment. Your mother NEVER let anyone slow her down or make her believe she couldn't do it. Your Father also has a degree and is very successful in his business. Just last year with his short tenure at his place of employment won Salesman of the year and won a trip to Puerto Rico. By the way, you went on this trip too, but were in your mothers womb
I have rocked you and sang to you, looking at you wondering what God has in store for you? Of course as your Grandmother, I want only the best for you; the perfect fairy tale life is what I imagine. Unfortunately in this world of which we live, the reality is that you too will face obstacles to overcome, temptations that you must ward off, beliefs that you must defend and yes, a broken heart from time to time. But with that being said, I would like to give you some advice and tell you from an old soul who has been around the block a time or two, what my wishes and advice are for you.
You must believe in God and our Savior Jesus Christ first and foremost! This doesn't mean you have to walk around with a Bible proving to people that you believe. You need to hold your belief sacred and in your heart. You need to thank him for your blessings and acknowledge him for that. You need to also lean on him when times get tough and he will guide you through it. Your faith will be tested and the Bible even warns us about that, but hold true to him and he will be true to you. Sometimes he doesn't answer prayers and we don't understand why and think it's all going to fall apart, but he knows the big picture and after time you will understand why. Trust me, I have seen this happen in my own life, time and time again. Garth Brooks has a song called 'Unanswered Prayers', you should listen to that or the song 'One Day at a Time Sweet Jesus'.
Anyway, your next feat will be EDUCATION! You MUST be educated to be a strong woman and provider for your family that you will have one day. If you like nice things and want your kids to have nice things you must take your education extremely serious. You can be ANYTHING you want to be. Never feel that you cannot achieve something you dream of. Dream big and set goals that are short term and long term. Check them off one at a time. If you very simply do your homework and what is expected of you you will be unstoppable.
Respect yourself! Respect yourself in a way that you demand nothing less from others. You get respect by demanding it through your actions. Your actions of treating others like you would like to be treated in any given situation. If someone is always negative or talking nasty about others or complaining all the time, then you should move your friendship or relationship away from them so they do not infect you with their sadness and despair. It doesn't mean just outsiders, but that would include family too. You can love your family from afar as you can close up. What I am trying to say is surround yourself with people that share love and laughter, and positive support.
Love your Mother and Father and any siblings you may have. They are your first right of defense when times get tough. As a girl and young woman, you will go through a period in your life that you will feel that your mother is always wrong and doesn't understand how you feel. Believe me when I say that she does understand and that she is truly your best friend you could ever ask for. But until you become of age that you can become friends she must be your mother first and discipline and guide you. She is only doing this to make you the best person you can possibly be. You see Payton, God gave you to her and her job is to teach you. This isn't just book related teachings this is also life teachings. Listen to her because she only speaks to you out of true love. The truest love you will ever encounter while on this earth.
Of course I will always be here for you and will always have an open door to love you unconditionally. None of us are perfect in this world and must find our own path in life. I pray that yours will be filled with dreams, adventure and curiosity to feed your hunger, to strive for more.
As you may hear stories about your ole' Granny, you may laugh and think "she is or was wild", yes I was and have paid steep prices for some decisions I have made. But would I change things and do them differently? Probably not because they were stepping stones that led me to where I am today. I have a wonderful, successful family that God has blessed me with. God has seen me through a lot of very dark times only to bring me out of the darkness years later.
I love you Payton with all my heart and soul and I ask only a few simple things of you....Please don't ever get involved with drugs or drinking heavily. Don't let a man devalue your existence. Build your self respect on character, making your word as good as a contract. Achieve and conquer any and all your dreams. Be a good Mother to your children and always make them your priority. Make it a point to teach them about God and push them to become productive educated individuals too.
Yours Always,
Granny Jordan
