Bottle Blues...

It's February 5th, and you are only 12 days old. When I was pregnant with you, it was my perfect hope and dream to breastfeed you entirely, for at least a few months. Before getting pregnant with you, I always thought of breastfeeding as "gross" or just "not for me." That all changed when your little heart started to beat in my belly. I wanted to give you the healthiest, safest, and best start in this life that I could. Doctor's, nurses, classes, everyone preached to me how important breast milk was going to be for my newborn's healthy start. I knew that it was going to be hard...But didn't know it would be this hard! We have had issues with you eating enough and you have been crying so much, and are so hungry. Daddy has been the most courageous and constant supporter for me through these past couple of days. We work together to try to help you eat, because we both want desperately for this to work. Your health is our number one priority, and we are determined to do anything we can to wait as long as possible to introduce formula. Your Daddy has called hot lines, nurse lines, 24 hour lines, and the hospital at all hours of the night; he has spent hours in the middle of the night reading and searching online for ways to help mommy and ways to help you.We have to make sure you are getting the proper nutrition, so we decided to throw in the towel. 12 days have felt like 12 years. We took you into the hospital today because we felt like you just aren't getting enough to eat. They made me give you a bottle because you are losing to much weight. You have lost nearly 1 1/2 pounds so far. So today, on February 5th, Daddy fed you mommy's milk out of a bottle for the first time..and we got some sleep of which we have needed for a long time..

Love,

Mommy