Swimming with Dora!

Today, Daddy and I took your to Riverchase to go swimming with our friends Mike and Stacey and their two kids, Jake and Maddie!

You are such a water baby! You literally have no fear. Me, on the other hand, I chase behind you non-stop, overwhelmed with anxiety! Your dad is much better at letting you learn "the hard way" than I am. I don't like to ever see you fall or struggle, especially not in the water, when I know that you will swallow it or get it up your nose! :) Your dad is much better at letting you experience things on your own. I wish I had his strength sometimes....but I just tell myself I'm so overprotective because I love you SO much!

The best part about swimming with you today was going down the slide with Dora. Dora is your little swimming buddy (You are obsessed with everything DORA!) We were cracking up laughing when you went down the slide because you would climb the stairs and once you got to the top, you would throw your arms out and say, "I did it Momma!" Then I would hand you Dora. As we all waited for you at the bottom of the slide, we couldn't really see you. The slide was oddly shaped. All of a sudden, we would see your Dora doll coming sailing down the slide (all by herself), then a few seconds later, you would come sailing on down, too! It was so funny to sit at the bottom and see Dora come rushing down (before you!) It was hysterical that you didn't keep her with you. It was like you were letting her have her own fun! Haha! It really was comical and everyone that would walk by and see it, would crack up laughing.

Sometimes, as a parent, you think it's the big things that you want to remember. And you do. But to me, it's the small things, like the funny memory of Dora and the slide at the pool that I never want to forget. I had a great day with you today.

Love,
Mommy

Your 1st St. Louis Cardinals Game!

Daddy and I have been looking forward to this day for a long time! The day we get to take our little mini me to her First Cardinals' game! We are big baseball fans, and couldn't wait to take our littlest fan with us to a game. 
You have been watching this show called "Dinosaurs" and there is this episode that you LOVE! In it, the little dinosaur says, "Take me out to the Ballllll gaammmmee!!" You repeat that every time you watch that episode, so we taught you to say it when you saw people playing baseball as well. 
We went to the game today, and the Cardinals' were playing the Phillies. It was a late afternoon game and it was so incredibly hot!! I thought you were going to be crabby because of the heat, but you were and are always such a little trooper! Nothing stops you from laughing and having fun. You enjoyed watching the game and would always ask, "Mommy, he okay?" every time a baseball player would hit the ball or make a catch. You brought your little Fredbird along with you, and were so excited because we kept telling you that you were going to meet the real Fredbird. Well, you loved watching Fredbird from a distance and spotting him around the stadium, but you were NOT happy when Fredbird got anywhere close to you! Haha! 

After the game, it was "Kids Run the Bases" Day, so we stood in line to do that. You had so much fun, and smiled and laughed with Daddy the entire time you two ran around the bases! It was so fun to watch. Pretty awesome that you got to go on the field AND run the bases at your very first Cardinal game ever! 


Daddy and I will always be YOUR biggest Fans,

Mommy

Dedicating You To Christ

"My lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you, praying. For this child I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I have also dedicated her to the LORD; as long as she lives, she is dedicated to the Lord." 

Today is your Baby Dedication! We are so excited for this day, and have been waiting for it for a long time. Right now, we attend "Faith Church." This church is non-denominational. The reason why we chose this route, rather than a traditional baptism is becuase we want you to be able to choose your religion for yourself later on in life. We did not want to choose that for you, before you had a say in what YOU believe. A dedication means that we, as your parents, dedicate ourselves to raising you in a home where God is loved and worshiped. It is our promise to raise you to know the Love of God and more importantly, how much God loves you. 

Your dad and I have been inspired by a man by the name of Jeff Bethke. He came out with a video called "Jesus vs. Religion" and I am currently reading his book which is titled the same. We love God, we believe in his son, Jesus, but we are not the biggest fan of "religion" and we do believe that there is a difference. We like to attend Faith church, because it seems like they are accepting of EVERYONE. We believe that God loves us all, equally, regardless of our background, how often we attend church, sins that we have committed, etc. Your dad and I don't believe in judging others and we sometimes feel that certain "religions" do just that. We don't believe that you have to pray to a preacher to have your voice heard by God, we believe that we are all loved and heard by our God the same, whether you are a sinner or a preacher. The church that we attend seems to hold these same beliefs. All different walks of life come to this church, all for the same reason, to praise God and to thank him for their abundant blessings; not to judge or criticize others. 

Dedicating you is a big deal to us. As your parents, we fear and worry about so many things, and one of the biggest of these fears is this world that we live in. There are so many bad things that happen on a day to day basis, and so many stresses in life that can really weigh you down as a person. Without your love for God and your Faith, we fear that living this life can sometimes be too difficult. We want you to always remember that you are NEVER alone. We believe whole heartily in God, in Heave, in an Afterlife, etc. We will all live together, eternally, after this life on Earth. 

We pray everyday that you become a God fearing woman, with a heart for others, and a strong faith to get you through the darkest times in your life. 

You were created, uniquely you, in his image. We thank him everyday for blessing us with the opportunity to be your mom and dad. 

You did so good today. You were scared of the pastor, but only when he would try to touch you! :) Your had lots of family who came to watch you be dedicated as well:

Grandma and Grandpa Jordan, Grandma and Grandpa Marks, Aunt Ashley, Aunt Lauren, Uncle Michael and Aunt Amy, Grandma Helen and Aunt Shelly, Your cousins Hailey and Ella, Your Great Aunt Donna, Your Great Uncle Neil and Aunt Marla, Your 2nd cousin, Ryan, and our best friends Mike and Stacey and their kids, Jake and Maddie! 

Payton, The moment you were born, I realized the most important thing I needed to do and the best job I would ever have in this life time is being your mom. You made me see that I was suddenly able to love harder than ever and loving someone else even more than myself, is my destiny. You have already brought so much joy into my life. I love you more than I ever thought possible, or than I could ever imagine. You are where my journey begins. 

You are my heart.

Mommy

"I Go Potty!"

Tonight you went on the "Big Girl" potty for the very first time! We were just trying it out for fun, and you actually went! You were so proud of yourself, and we were overwhelmed with pride! It's so fun and incredible watching you grow, and hit milestones/accomplishments like this. You are far from potty trained, but it was so much fun to watch as you beamed with pride, feeling like you did something so awesome! 

Afterwards, you kept telling us (and family over the phone): "I Go Potty!!" 

A Reflection Of The Year...

It's the final day of 2013, and we are about to adventure into 2014! It's so hard to believe that you are almost 2! These two years have flown by so fast, and there has been nothing better than watching you grow, change, and develop into your own little person this year.

Your dad and I have enjoyed so many memories with you this year, there is no way to list them here. Here are just a few of our favorite memories from 2013 with you:

• Watching you grow, learn how to walk, talk, climb, run, and explore. It seems like each day you would do something that Daddy and I couldn't wait to tell each other about. You are always the topic of our conversations and we are always so proud and want to share all of your accomplishments and milestones with everyone! 
• We celebrated your first birthday at the beginning of this year and that was so much fun. We had it at the Arnold Rec Center and all of your family came to celebrate with you! My favorite part of your party was the slideshow that Daddy and I created for everyone to watch. It played pictures of you throughout your first year. Daddy's favorite part was you wearing your brand new "Jordans." (Daddy is obsessed with shoes!)
• Taking you to the Zoo, Grant's Farm, Aunt Ashley's soccer games, and all kinds of other events. You were really starting to explore this year and it was fun to just chase you around everywhere!
• Going swimming! You LOVE water! You took swimming lessons as soon as you turned 6 months old, and you loved every minute of it! We both had so much fun taking you swimming and watching you laugh and splash your way through the water.
• Going to music class and the Little Gym! We enrolled you in classes throughout the year at Gymboree and The Little Gym. You took music classes and "play/Gymnastic" classes here. You absolutely LOVED the music classes. It was so much fun watching you try to communicate with other little people your size, and to watch as you did your "drum solo" each time we went to music class. Daddy would attend every class that he could. A lot of families have "one or the other" parent at classes, but we would both always take you. Both of us enjoyed it too much to not go. There is nothing better than watching you play and explore, as the world is so new to you! It's really refreshing to look at the world through your eyes! 
• A not so good memory was the Fourth of July party this year. We were having so much fun, until you got your hands on a smoke bomb that had been recently lit, and you burned both of your little hands so bad. It was the hardest thing that we ever had to do, was to watch you hurt like that. You healed up fine, and you will never remember it....but we always will. It's scarred on our hearts!
• Taking you to see animals, or the ponies at Granny Jordan's house. You are OBSESSED with animals this year! We loved to take you to Suson Park to see the cows, horses, and other animals. At Granny's house, you would go out in to the field and run after the little ponies. You have NO FEAR at all! You've even ridden the little ponies a couple of times, of which you LOVE! You are definitely our little "Rodeo Queen!" Speaking of rodeos, we took you to your first one ever this year and you were so impressed! You sat right up at the fence, and would yell with delight when the bulls would come out bucking! You were so entertained all night and looked absolutely darling in your cowgirl hat and cowgirl boots. That was such a fun time and great memory of this year.
• One of Daddy's favorite memories was a few months ago, you were playing with his phone. About 20 minutes later, he couldn't find his phone anywhere. You weren't really able to talk, but just for fun, he kept asking you where his phone was. You walked him right to the toy room door, he opened it for you, and you walked him over to your play kitchen, opened up the microwave, and got his phone out! He was tickled to death! He could not believe that you understood what he was saying and that you remembered where you had put it. He was so proud! He told everyone he knew that story!

There are so many memories and so many fun things that we did this year. I wish I would have written down more of them. Even though the above is just a few of those cherished times with you, Daddy and I both hold all of those other memories in our heart. Everyday with you is special. 

Here are a few things that you currently love:

• Boots! You have several pairs and you love them! Hearing you say "boots" is the cutest thing! 
• Jewelry, necklaces, bracelets, etc. Especially if it's Mommy's! You will sit for hours and put 20 necklaces on, take them off, and repeat. It's amazing how much it entertains you! 
• Pens, pencils, markers, etc. You went through a phase where you constantly took markers and pens in and out of a cup, over and over! You would put them all in, one by one, and the end that wrote had to go down first. You were very particular about how your pens went into the cup. You loved when someone would sit with you so you could hand them the pens, and then take them back and put them in the cup...and repeat! 
• Animals! You especially love your two pets, Chloe and Dude. Chloe is our dog and Dude is our cat. Everytime we leave the house, as we are backing out of the driveway, you yell, "Bye Chloe, Bye Dude!" It's so precious! 
• I never let you have anything to drink other than water or milk. We recently started letting you have some juice (Plum Juice), and you love it! Now, I hear, "Momma, Ju Ju!" a whole lot! 
• Cheese-its! You are obsessed with them! You also love Vanilla wafers, crackers, and ice cream treats. 
• You are recently obsessed with Babies, both real and fake! It's so cute to see you around other real babies. You get right in their face and say, "Hi, Baby!" You love to look at and talk to babies. You love your fake babies too. You are starting to take your babies with you places, you have recently started to try and feed and do real life things with your babies too! 
• BOOKS! We read so many books every single day! We always read you a book before you go to sleep, nap or bedtime. For a long time, you never stayed interested long enough to get through a book. You always wanted to get down and do something else. Well for the last few months, that has totally changed. You love to sit and look at books. Now, you talk through the book and try to mock what we are saying or doing. You try to count, sing, and talk like we do when we are reading to you! It is a must that we read at least 2-3 books each night before you go to sleep. Right now, your absolute favorite book is this book with a green dinosaur on it, called, "RAWR!" This is by far your favorite and one that we must read every single night! You walk around saying, "Rawr!" all the time! It's so adorable! You also love to take Mommy's bras and out them over your eyes, and when you do, you yell, "RAWR!" Although it's inappropriate, it's priceless! Granny Jordan taught you how to do that. Everytime you see a Dinosaur or "monster" of some sort, you shout, RAWR!
• Trains! You love to watch trains, and watching you as you move your arms and say, "Choo Choo" is the best! 
• You love to organize things! You especially like to do this when we go to stores to shop. You like to reorganize and rearrange things on the shelf. The best memory of this was at Christmas time this year at Target. You took all the little tress off the shelf and organized them in a row on the floor. When you were all done, you organized them back on to the shelf! We got this on tape, and am so glad we did! 
• Words that you currently say: You say "No" alot. You have had your "yes's and No's mixed up for quite some time. You pretty much say "no" for everything, we just know by the tone of your voice if it really means yes or not. You say, "please, Granny, Papa, no, Chloe, Dude, Momma, Daddy, Up, Michael, Cheese, Ju Ju (juice), and much more. You are really starting to mock a lot of what we say. Your vocabulary expands every single day! 
• You love PaPa (Jordan). You talk about him all the time, every time you get on the phone, you pretend like you are talking to him, etc. However, when he comes around, you don't like to get to close. You will give high fives, and kisses when you leave, but other than that, you kind of keep your distance. You do this with a lot of strangers or family that you don't see on an everyday basis. You get really shy and cling to us, but as soon as we tell you that we are leaving and going "bye bye", you open up and act yourself! You love to say bye, give high fives, "fist pump", and gives kisses. 
• There is nothing more that you love than music. Singing, dancing, watching other people sing and dance, etc. You are definitely a music girl! Your current favorite song is your ABC's. Your favorite station to listen to on Pandora is "Nursery Rhyme Medley's" and if you are crabby in the car, I always turn this on. It usually quiets you right away. 
• You love Mickey Mouse, Dora, Doc McStuffins, your play kitchen, and anything that you can ride on or be pushed on!
• You loved Christmas time this year. You were amazed by Christmas lights, and it was so fun to watch you as you enjoyed them. It would make me cry and I watched the joy in your eyes throughout this holiday season. You did NOT like Santa Claus this year, and you did not get your picture with him because of it. You screamed something horrible and made us feel so terrible, so we didn't force you! But you loved to see "fake" Santa statues or dolls and every time you saw a picture or something of Santa Claus, you always said, "Momma, Daddy, HO HO!" Whenever you would see something that you love, a new toy, etc. you always yelled out, "Wooooooooooowwwwwww Momma!!" This is one of my very favorite memories from you this year. Just hearing you say that and watching your excitement was awesome. There is nothing better! 
• You really weren't into opening gifts this year. You loved the new toys (your favorites this year were your drum set and your play kitchen, and your Doc McStuffins inflatable ball pit). You weren't all that interested in opening the gifts up though. 

Just in the last few weeks you have really started to develop a personality of your own, with very strong likes and dislikes. We witnessed our very first tantrum (you were on the floor, legs kicking, screaming, etc). You have grown into a toddler and are no longer our "baby." This next year ought to be interesting as we try to learn how to help you grow and express your feelings, and learn how to punish you as well! It's not easy when a two year old runs the house! :)

We know this next year is going to be filled with so many more memories, so many more "firsts" for you, heartaches, and joy. We are ready to take it on, with our little "Butterbutt" by our side. Cheers to a happy and healthy year ahead of us. We both love you with every ounce of our heart and soul. 

XOXOXOXO,

Mommy

In Closing, on this Day of Love....

Dear Payton,

This will be my final entry to this book. Today is Valentine's Day, February 14th, 2013. I wanted to make your book all about your first year, so it's time to close this chapter and begin a new one. 

Today is a very special day for our family. Your daddy and I were married on Valentine's Day in the year of 2009. As of today, we have been married for 4 years. 

Four years ago today....we were an excited couple on our wedding day, both wondering about our future and what it might hold. We were in love, now married, and had just bought our first home. We were both young and free, willing to take on life! We knew we wanted children and we both had the same vision for our future: A big family to call our own. We both dreamed of the days when we would celebrate all that life has to offer with our children. It was about a year after we were married that we knew we wanted to start that family. Little did we know at the time that it would take us a lot longer than what we thought to begin our first pregnancy. Days turned into months, and months turned into years...and we wept as we longed for a tiny miracle to call our own. It was on May 7th, 2011 that we found out we were going to be parents. 

While mommy was pregnant, we would talk to you, sing to you, dream about you, and share with each other and the world how much we already loved you. 

Now you are here, and you are just over a year old...but I feel like I have loved you forever. I have dreamed about being your mommy for as long as I can remember. There is nothing in this entire universe that could ever compare to the joy and happiness that you have brought to your Daddy and I's life. You have made our life and our relationship so much more beautiful. As you continue to grow, to develop as a person, and take in this world around you, please remember one thing. You are loved today, you will be loved tomorrow, and everyday for the rest of your life. There is nothing that could ever come between or take away our love for you. You are loved in a way that is priceless, a way that is never ending. You are loved all because you are YOU. We wouldn't want you any other way. The person you were born to be and will become is perfect. You were created in God's love, and sent from Heaven for us to raise. We thank God every single day for choosing us as your family on Earth. You are the greatest blessing, and you have made me the happiest girl on the face of this Earth, just by being you. 

You are developing, learning, and growing each and every day. It seems as if everyday, you learn something new. As your parents, we are so excited to journey through your life with you. We cannot wait to see what your life has in store. Watching you grow and develop into a beautiful girl and strong woman is the reason why I was put on this Earth. My life has purpose because of you. Thank you for blessing your daddy and I with this gift. 

On Valentine's Day and everyday....I love you. We love you. You will forever be my sweet, sweet baby girl. 

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

Is my baby a toddler?

Tonight, as I was giving you a bath, I was out of no where struck with the realization that you are no longer a "baby." As I watched your face, and your little closed mouth smile...and noticed how your hair was hitting your shoulders when I got it wet, I saw a "big" girl. I stopped for a second and just looked at you. You looked back at me and smiled, without showing your teeth (which by the way is the sweetest smile EVER) as if you were trying to ease my heart that was all of a sudden breaking! You are just over a year old, and you have still looked like my baby.. Until this moment......in this moment....you looked like a little girl. To fight the tears, I started to sing my normal, silly, made up bath song that I always sing to you. 

Now, when you get out of the tub, you yell and fuss at me because you want to get up, or because you want your milk, or whatever  You have quite the personality now, and you know what you want! Before, my little "baby" would just lay there and listen to me sing. Now, you are so much more vocal and you're expressing your opinions well already! But you know what...you still stop and listen when you hear me sing. I wonder how much longer until that fades, too.

 I love you sweet Baby Butterbutt, and no matter how old you grow...

You will always be my "Baby" 

Love, 

Mommy

Dance!

Although you have been dancing for quite some time, it's evident that you now know what the word "dance" means. No matter what tone, or what voice I say that word in, you immediately start to shake your booty! Sometimes you dance with a little butt shake, sometimes it's a back pop in and out, and sometimes you move your head from side to side. No matter what though, you LOVE to dance! When music is on in the car, your moving. When mommy sings to you, your moving. When you hear songs or music on t.v., your moving. It is so funny to watch you and your spunky little personality develop!

Love,

Mommy

On The Move! Ouch!

You are now as mobile as mobile gets, without walking. It took you so long to finally start crawling, but now, there is no stopping you! You officially started pulling yourself up on to your toys, the furniture, etc. You struggled for so long..figured it out one day..and the rest is history! You are now crawling everywhere and getting into everything. Now that you are moving and getting into/on top of things, bruises are popping up all over the place! We hate to see you fall and get hurt, but know that this comes with the nature of being a mobile little girl! You are constantly bonking your head, busting your mouth, and falling face first into things. It's so sad! We just recently noticed that your right front tooth is chipped. When we took you to the doctor for your one year visit  she said you had to have chipped your tooth by falling. No surprise! You are our little bruised cruiser! :) One of the sweetest memories that I'm holding on to from you moving is when I say, "I'm gonna get you!" You immediately start cracking up laughing and you try to crawl away as fast as possible....but you go no where! You sort of spin in place and can't get yourself going. When this happens, you stop and bury your face in the floor, laughing! It's so fun knowing that you are understanding things we are saying to you and it's so sweet to see how you respond. You literally grow and learn each and every day. Each day brings some new "trick" or something fun to talk about. Daddy and I are constantly calling each other, texting each other, etc. to talk about something that you have done to make us laugh. We are obsessed with you, my love! I absolutely love coming home from work everyday, knowing that I am in for the best time, of love and laughter, once I am with you.

I love you to the moon and back,

Mommy 

I Love You

I am your Parent, you are my Child.

I am your Quiet Place, your are my Wild.

I am your Calm Face, you are my Giggle.

I am your Wait, you are my Wiggle.

I am your Dinner, you are my Chocolate Cake.

I am your Bedtime, you are my Wide Awake.

I am your Lullaby, you are my Peekaboo.

I am your Goodnight Kiss, you are my I Love You.

A Weekend of Firsts!

It's the weekend of December 28th, 2012 and what a busy weekend it has been for you, our little Butter Butt! We have been waiting patiently for you to do many different things, and you came through...all in one weekend! I am so thankful that you waited to do these things when both your daddy and I were both with you, to experience the joy of these milestones! Just this weekend, you have started to crawl (barely, but you are moving!), you are giving "kisses" (the absolute sweetest thing ever!), you are attempting to clap your hands, your starting to pull up on to things, you sat up in your crib for the first time, and your playing keep-a-way (on purpose!). 
Your first real few steps of crawling were on Saturday night, the 29th, over at Uncle Neil and Aunt Marla's house. We were over there for Grandma Helen's 60th surprise birthday party! All of the aunts were having a blast playing with you. They set a beer down and encouraged you to come to it....and you did! I didn't know if I should be proud or scared! You wanted that beer! :) You did take your first few steps though. You are not crawling great yet, but you have now started to attempt to move! Daddy and I were so proud!

At home, with Dad and I, you mocked us by clapping your hands. We have been trying to teach you this for quite some time. Woo-Hoo! 

You have given "kisses" before, just a few times to me and to Granny Jordan. You would never do it repeatedly though, so I assumed it was a fluke the first couple of times that you did it. Starting this weekend, you will intentionally open your mouth up (extremely wide!) and give kisses when I ask you too! This was such a sweet moment for Daddy and I. We both just sat in the floor, laughing and smiling at you, demanding that you give us "kisses" over and over! 

Sitting up in your crib was one of the most fun moments we have shared with you so far! We have been waiting for the day when you would sit up and starting playing in your crib, during naps. We recently lowered your crib mattress down, and put a few toys in there, anticipating this big milestone! A lot of mommy's friends have babies your age and they have been doing these things for awhile now. You have proven to us over and over that you like to do things on your own time. I can already tell that you are a free spirit and you are going to do things when YOU want to do them, not when we want you to! I admire that about you already! So, back to how it happened...Daddy and I were on the couch in the living room and we could hear you talking to yourself in your room, and knew that you had woken from your morning nap. Daddy was on the phone, so I went in to get you. I wanted to be sure you were really awake (and there was no possibility of you falling back asleep). I tip-toed down the hall, slowly opened your door, and quietly stuck my head in to see you. There you were...sitting straight up, laughing and smiling at me! I burst into laughter, and ran in the living room to get Daddy. He hung the phone up quickly and ran into your room. He, too, burst into laughter  We both got out our phones and began taking pictures and video of you. It was so funny, and so sweet. We were two proud parents, that's for sure! 

Not the greatest quality of picture, but it was dark, and it's the best I took!
You are such a big girl!

You were kicking and moving like crazy!
I think you were also very proud of yourself! 

It's crazy how endlessly happy you make your Dad and I. It's the small things, like sitting up in your crib for the first time, that I will treasure as long as I live! 

Thank you for teaching me how to enjoy the small things in life...

Love,

Mommy

A Sad Day in America...

Payton Nadine,

December 14th, 2012 was an extremely sad day in our Nation. One of the most horrid, violent acts in our history became a reality at an elementary school in Connecticut. A man entered a school and killed several children and teachers. 
This nightmare hits very close to home. I am a 4th grade teacher, and the fear of something like this happening in my school becomes a reality that I can't imagine facing. 
As a person, I am disgusted and outraged. 
As a teacher, I am sad and heartbroken for these families, this school, and most of all...the children. 
As YOUR mother, I am so incredibly terrified. You are only 11 months old, yet I am absolutely sick over the thought of you going to school one day. I have cried and cried the last couple of days in fear of what kind of world you will grow up in. If you watch the news, it just seems as if our world is becoming an increasingly scary and ugly place to live in. It seems that darkness, bad people, and violence are taking over...
However, as I have had time to sit and reflect, I refuse to be scared. I refuse to raise you in a way that causes you to fear and worry over things such as this. There are too many reasons why we should not live this way...and here are two of those reasons.... 

1. Your daddy and I trust, love, and believe in Jesus Christ. He is our Lord and Savior. The Lord has a PERFECT plan for me, your daddy, and most of all...you. Our life is in his hands, and we are here for his purpose. We shall not live in fear as to what this life holds or what our purpose is..or how our life will end up. We must live to trust him, and that our purpose is perfect. If we live this way, we live in faith, and we will not live in fear. Through this tragedy  people have questioned God and where was our God when these horrible things happened. We know better than to ever question this. God gives us all the freedom of choice over our life. What we choose to do with it is up to us. The Lord is weeping with our Nation during this time. God is Love, and weeps with us at the choices of this man. We know that God was there. He was there in the teachers who protected their children. He was there in the police officers who ran into the building to risk their own lives. He was there in the community who out-poured their love, tears, and support for these victims. God was there. In this house, we will never question that. In this world, the peace and Love that God provides our family is essential. I feel so worried and scared for you, but then I realize that you are God's child and that he will always protect you. 

2. There are so many good people on this Earth doing great things. We see so much of the yucky stuff, that it makes it hard to remember this. There really are so many great people. I hope and pray that as you grow, you are surrounded by these people. I hope you always choose to surround yourself with positive people, people who do good for others, and people who love God. It is these people who will help to shape you into a wonderful, and productive member of our society. Always choose Love, Payton, and be kind to all that you meet-for there is always someone who is fighting a tougher battle. 

Our President, Barack Obama, gave a speech last night to the country in the wake of this horrible tragedy. He made comments about parents, children, and our country. You were sleeping soundly in your bed during this speech, as your daddy and I sat on the couch welled with tears listening. He spoke so true to our heart. He said:
"To have a child is to forever have your heart walk outside of your body." 

This is exactly true. I have never worried so much, prayed so much, thought so much, hurt so much, or been as happy until you came along. I do literally feel as if my heart walks around and travels with you. I want so desperately to shield you from this world, to shield you from all negative, hurtful, and horrible things. As I sit and watch you smile and laugh, part of my heart breaks. You are the definition of pure innocence at this point. You smile at every stranger you see. You laugh without a single care in the world. To you, this is one big, happy fun place. If only you could never grow up, or if only we all had your innocence. I am heartbroken knowing that you will soon be struck with reality. In a few years, you too will experience anxiety and fear as you slowly realize that life can be scary. 

I wish I could keep you in a  bubble forever. I wish I could save you from your every fall. I wish that you would never experience hurt, heartache, pain, or anything else for that matter. I wish for no one to ever hurt you, betray you, or make you sad. 

I do know that these are all just that....wishes. You will experience all of these things, unfortunately. Knowing this, I will do my best to raise you in a God loving home, a place where you will always be safe, loved, and protected. I will prepare you for these life challenges so that you can conquer and defeat each one. I will raise you to be strong, confident, and kind. If I can do this, my job as your mother will be complete. 

You are my hope in this world. You are my love. You are my life. 

I believe that God's purpose for my life, was to have you. To raise you in his love. 

I will do my best and I promise you that.

I love you in a way that I could never possibly explain or put into words. 

There are no words for a love this deep, this passionate, and this large. 

Love,

Mommy

For Payton's Blog...

Well we got to meet PAYTON for the first time Sat. 12/15/12. You were all Nanny and I expected and more. A beautiful little girl. We have watched you grow in pictures since the start. It is easy to see you have been nurtured in love all your life. I have never seen any baby get more care and attention than you received from your Mom and Dad. We continue to watch you grow from a little rose bud into a beautiful rose. There are miles between us but love bridges the distance easily. Nanny and Paw Paw have many Great Grandchildren, but each one has a special place in our hearts. No matter what path you may take in life, Payton, you have a head start, because you are loved by so many. Love is one of God’s great gifts. Without it we are nothing. Read in the bible was Bro. John has to say about love.  When you learn to read of course. Maybe from reading this and seeing pictures of Nanny and Paw Paw you can feel some of what we were.

Watching you grow and loving you, 

Nanny and PawPaw

A Typical Day...

Today has been a typical day; nothing out of the usual. Mommy and Daddy both went to work and came home to the many chores and tasks for the evening, like normal! The days seems so long, while I am at work, without you. Sometimes it's hard to find happiness or force a smile. The stresses of work and life can so easily bring me down.
That is until the second I walk in the door to pick you up. Today, like everyday, you look up when you hear my voice, and you start to bounce and clap, smiling from ear to ear. You will start to talk, and mumble vowel sounds, with a "mamama mamama" to let me know that you are happy to see me. I laugh and talk to you the entire car ride home, so anxious to get home and play with you. Tonight, like most nights, I sat you in your high chair with your favorite, "Gerber Puff" snacks (you love them, and you love to shove like 6 in your mouth at a time, which makes me incredibly nervous!)
While I'm making dinner, I talk to you, sing to you, and dance for you. For some reason, you love my silly dance moves. You will laugh out loud and just giggle hysterically the entire time that I prance around the kitchen like a crazy ballerina. It takes so very little to impress you, and so little to please you. You are happy and you make us so incredibly happy every night and day that we spend with you. I feel like a star, as I dance for you. You have a special way of making me feel so special. The stresses of the day, of life...are instantly washed away with your smile. You are the remedy and the cure for it all! Your smile is my joy. I love you, Payton, to the Moon and back. (and then some!)

Love,

Mommy

"Never Grow Up" By Taylor Swift

Hard to believe I am already planning your First Birthday party. As excited as I am to watch you grow and become the greatest little girl that I know you will be, this saddens me. You are the sweetest, happiest, and best baby. I will forever cherish and miss this time with you. Your sweetness, innocence  and daily curiosities fill my heart with happiness every single day. Sometimes I wish you would never grow up. I came across this song today written by Taylor Swift. My eyes welled with tears, as I related to it all so closely...

Your little hands wrapped around my finger

And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming

So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you, everything's funny

You got nothing to regret

I'd give all I have, honey

If you could stay like that

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you

Won't let no one break your heart

No, no one will desert you

Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies

And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off

At 14, there's just so much you can't do

And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block

Remember that she's getting older, too

And don't lose the way that you dance around

In your PJs getting ready for school

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

[From: http://www.elyrics.net]

It could stay this simple

No one's ever burned you

Nothing's ever left you scarred

And even though you want to

Just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room

Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home

Remember the footsteps, remember the words said

And all your little brother's favorite songs

I just realized everything I have

Is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment

In a big city, they just dropped me off

It's so much colder than I thought it would be

So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up

I wish I'd never grown up

Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up

Could still be little

Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up

It could still be simple

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you

Won't let no one break your heart

And even through to you want to

Please try to never grow up

Don't you ever grow up

(Never grow up)

Just never grow up

 Love,

Mommy

Late Night Fun!

After being so sick the last few weeks, it's so nice to have you feeling better. Most of your symptoms are gone, but you still have a yucky cough that we are desperately trying to get rid of. The doctor wants us to continue to give you steroids as a breathing treatment to help get rid of your cough. Well, the first time we put you on these steroids  it totally messed up your sleeping habits. You were one WIRED little girl! The late PM hours, became your party hours. You didn't feel well, but you still wanted to party past your bed time! We had to start the steroids again this past week...and guess what...You went right back into party mode! It is entirely past your bed time, but you are making it clear you are not going to go to bed. In your crib, you have screamed and cried. The second I go and pick you up and walk you into the living room...you are all smiles for Daddy. Yes, we are wrapped around your finger, and yes, you run this house. We are here, at your service. But who couldn't be? Look at this smile....This smile makes these late night party sessions the BEST EVER. 

Love,

Mommy

A Note from Grandma Helen...

Payton,

The day they brought Chloe in with a sweater on that said, "I'm going to be a big sister", I was overwhelmed.
That night I sat back and took it all in, and cried, thanking God.
For 9 months I prayed for you every night, and then the big day finally came. There were so many people there, all waiting for you.
Your dad came out and that's when he told us that we now had you. I could not wait to get in there to hold you. You were so adorable, and I am so thankful that God gave me two beautiful granddaughters.

My love for you is so overwhelming. I will be there if you fall, to pick you back up. My love for you is everlasting.When you need me, I will be there. If you need me to talk to, I will be there.

I cannot wait to have tea time, play games, go shopping, and teach you how to cook. We will have so many fun days together.

You are my life. I have waited for 30 years for my little angels, and now you and Summer are here. We will share a lot of memories together.

You have parents that love you; Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who will always be there for you. You have a lot of angels in Heaven who watch over you, too.

Grandma will love her Sweet Pea Forever...

"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself."

Happy 2 Month Birthday, Sweet Girl!

March 24th,  2012

Two months have come and gone. FAST. 

Your personality is starting to develop and you are the happiest baby. You never cry, you are never unhappy, and you just go with the flow. You have one of the calmest, most passive demeanors of any baby I know. You make it so easy to take care of you.

Your sweet smile is really starting to appear more often. You are starting to smile back at us when we smile and play with you. In 27 years, I have never smiled so much. Your smile is contagious and warms my heart. 

You Love: White noise and the sound of water, looking at books, your swing, laying under your floor gym, and when Mommy sings to you.

You Don't Like: Tummy time! You last one minute at the most and then the anger rages! The doctor tells me to keep you on your tummy and that it's okay for you to get frustrated. I don't listen. You don't like it, and I don't make you do it! (I'm sure that's not the best approach, but I can't stand to see you upset!)

You Eat: You have been eating around every 3-4 hours during the day. At night, you are usually asleep by 8:30. You will sleep until around 4 AM, eat, and then go back to sleep until 8:00! We are pretty spoiled. You are such a great baby! 

2 Month Check Up:

15.2 Pounds

25 1/4 Inches

100% for Height and Weight

2nd Month Memories:

Love,

Mommy